


Love is a Laserquest

by Heartbreak_Hotel



Category: Backstrom (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, M/M, Past Abuse, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:40:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3846109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartbreak_Hotel/pseuds/Heartbreak_Hotel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter and Valentine have become acquaintances; Peter even calls him Val. The two of them went out for drinks on a Friday night and on their drunken walk home they get captured and are held captive for two days. Valentine gets sexually abused and Peter gets beaten and sexually assaulted, but it doesn't get any further than that. Backstrom and the team find and rescue them. Peter claims he's okay to the team and resumes work. Valentine doesn't even talk about it, he's had his fair share of boogeymen but seeing Peter hurt ate him like a corrosive acid. The two become even closer and talk about what happened to them. Fear consumes Valentine at the thought of actually loving someone who isn't Backstrom and Peter is so confused about whether or not he's straight. But they can't help and wonder if they'd be actually worth a chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Being make-believe

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly the first chapter is so bad but please give it a chance chapter two will be much better (I hope).

**_"And do you still think love is a Laserquest, or do you take it all more seriously? I've tried to ask you this in some daydreams that I've had, but you're always busy being make-believe. And do you look in the mirror to remind yourself you're there? Or have somebody's goodnight kisses got that covered? Well I'm not being honest, I'll pretend you were just some lover."_ **

Looking back on it they should've never been at that damn bar in the first place, but it was Friday night and they were both looking for some  _friendly_ company. Neither of them expected to be jumped on their drunken walk home, or the quick sobering up once realizing they were being held captive.

Peter was the first of the two to wake up, his arms were bound above him with chains, holding him in place. His head pounded and the room around him was dark, while looking around he noticed another person. The fluffy black hair gave the identity away. "Valentine." Peter hissed quietly, wary of whomever was their captor. The boy didn't rouse but he heard shallow breathing. "Valentine. Valentine, wake up!" He hissed a little louder this time, no response. " _VAL!"_  He finally raised his voice, however stern he meant to sound it was simply hoarse. The fluff covered head raised and before he knew it hazel eyes fluttered open and met his own.

"G'morning, beautiful." He croaked in response, this almost light heartedness quickly dissolved as he looked around. His eyes widened and he gasped, turning to face his friend (if he could even be called that) as best as he could. "Why?" He asked in a broken voice, fear overtook him and he trembled. All he could think of was his time prior as a captive.

"I don't know, Val." He said gently trying to provide him some for of comfort. Peter didn't know what it was like to be held captive, he assumed it was terrifying. However, he was sure he was to find out. A sob that escaped the male next to him broke him from his thoughts. He was a sergeant in the Portland Police Department and he had better damn well do his job. He heard Valentine's breathing become erratic, surely the onset of a panic attack. "Valentine, please, calm down. It's going to be okay."

"No! No, Niedermayer, it is not okay!" He yelled back, voice high and desperate. Gregory began to struggle with the chains, trying to free himself. His wrist began to bruise from the force of him pulling. "Oh god. He's gonna come back...they always come back."

"Calm down, you struggling isn't helping the situation." He said will a sturdy voice. "Look at me. Valentine, look at me." Once the Hazel eyes locked on his he continued. "It's gonna be okay, they'll come for us. Backstrom would never, ever, leave you in a place like this. Do you understand me? Never." Even though Peter believed his words to be true he had no idea when they would come for them.

Gregory calmed down at Peter's words and his breathing regulated and he nodded slightly. "I don't want to be here." He finally said, his voice quiet. Peter nodded and opened his mouth to speak but closed it at the loud clink of a door opening. Valentine visibly flinched back at this, letting out a whimper. Light flooded in the room and both men strained their eyes at the sudden change.

Before Peter saw it coming the man that captured them walked in the room, he stopped a few feet in front of them and looked them both over. But Valentine  _knew_  this look, he was deciding on what to do to them. The mans hands went to his belt and he undid it before slowly pulling it out of the loops, as if it were a consensual strip tease. A very violent stip tease. He took the belt and used it to whip at Valentine, he was the closest.

"Stop! Stop hurting him!" Niedermayer screamed, his heart ached at the sight of the smaller male being hit. The man hit him one last time in a much harder fashion on his side. Valentine only reacted with a low groan, trying to suppress his pain. He hung his head low as if this were an actual fight and he was the loser. The man turned towards Peter now.

"Oh, are you his hero? Do you like helping the pretty ones out, is that it?" He asked with an eerily calm voice.

Peter simply spat at him. "Don't you  _fucking_  touch him." He said bitterly. Gregory raised his head to look at him, never had he heard the other male so much as utter a foul word and certainly not on his behalf. The hazel eyed boy's heart beat faster at this. "Leave him alone or I swear to god I will-"

"You can't do a damn thing." The other male sneered, cutting him off. He punched Peter abruptly in the stomach, over and over until he was coughing and taking in ragged breaths. He stopped, grabbing Valentine by his wrist and undoing the chains, binding his wrist together with the belt. Valentine struggled but with hit as soon as he began to struggle.

"Leave him alone!" Peter growled, beginning to struggle himself. But their captor moved in closer to Peter, letting Val hang almost limply in his arms.

"Just try and save him now." He said before using his free fist to slam into Peter's temple, knocking him unconscious.

* * *

The slamming of the door is what eventually woke Peter up, his head pounding. He noticed his arms no longer tied above him but instead we're freed of their chains. It was at that point he saw he was in a large cage, made to fit at least one human. In the corner of the cage laid Valentine against the cold concrete, his shirt ripped to shreds and the only other thing covering him was his burgundy boxer-briefs. This made his heart drop in his stomach. He picked the boy up gingerly, and rested his head on his lap. He ran his fingers through his hair assessing the damage.

After a few minutes the boy roused from his unconsciousness, his eyes fluttering open. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked, groggily. Wincing as he moved in closer to Peter, taking refuge as he buried his face in his stomach. Everything coming back to him all at once, more specifically when Peter got hit. "Peter," his voice muffled,"are you okay?"

This shocked Niedermayer. The other was taken, beaten, stripped, and god knows what else back asked if  _he_  was okay. "Me?" He asked sharply. "I'm fine. Are you? Jesus Christ what did he do to you?" He asked, more out of shock than wanting the actual knowledge.

But Valentine just shook his head and looked back up at him , offering a rather forced smile. "It's okay. I'm okay...you're okay." Valentine fell silent for a little bit, thinking everything over. And they sat like this for the rest of the night.

Peter ran his fingers through Val's hair to soothe the boy as he took stock of all his cuts and bruises, a lot of them sure to scar. He notices cuts on Valentine's side, back, and lower abdomen. He tried to not gasp at the word "fag" carved into Valentine's lower back. He saw dark bruises on his hips and around his neck, these concerned him the most. After what felt like minutes but was really hours the door opened and light flooded in. The man unlocked the door to their small cage-like cell, this time Valentine didn't resist and he didn't have to. Their captor gestured for Peter this time; he gently set the smaller boy on the cold floor, walked towards the door of the cage and waited for it to be unlocked before rushing the man and tackling him to the floor. The two struggled for a bit. Peter had fallen on his back with their captor over him, he was punched in the stomach over and over. Peter grabbed his arms and pulled him down, now on top of him, he repetitively hit him in the face successfully breaking his nose.

But Peter was already weak from the day and a half of being in the cell and was overpowered. The cage was locked behind him as he found himself laying limp on the cold basement floor. He was dragged over to the far off wall and chained up again. Here he was beaten and whipped for awhile, biting his lip as an act of rebellion. He refused to cry out and cave into this man. But he didn't have to cry out, Valentine had beaten him to it. "Stop it! Stop- leave him alone. Please, stop hurting him!" He screamed, voice shrill and hoarse.

Every time Peter was whipped with the leather belt Valentine flinched more that he did. The hits seemed to dull as the marks covered his body, everything hurt so bad and he could no longer tell when he was getting hit. But the pain faded even more just as his vision did, Peter had blacked out. This left Valentine to cry silently as he watched the man touch Peter in ways he knew Peter wouldn't like. Peter was straight and harbored nothing but disgust for this...animal. Valentine felt sick to his stomach as the man turned and faced him. He shook his head, clenched his jaw, and wiped his tears closed his eyes tightly trying to will this all way, filling his head with fantasies to make the touches more bearable. He didn't mind playing make-believe, not if he could dull the pain that swallowed him whole.

 


	2. It woke me up this morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine wakes up in the hospital, and Peter visits him.

**"I etched a face of a stopwatch on the back of a raindrop, and did a swap for the sand in an hourglass. I heard an unhappy ending. It sort of sounds like you leaving. I heard the piledriver waltz it woke me up this morning. You look like you've been for breakfast at the heartbreak hotel, and sat in the back booth by the pamphlets and the literature on how to lose."**

Hazel eyes opened and the brightness of the room caused the owner to wince and let out a low groan. "Quit being a bitch." He heard a voice say and once his eyes adjusted he noticed it was Backstrom. Despite the harshness in his words, Val knew he was still concerned. The man wasn't heartless, and he really did care about his half-brother.

Valentine let out a low moan, trying to sit up. His arms gave way and he fell back against the bed. He opened his mouth to ask about Peter but his throat was hoarse and it simply hurt too much. Backstrom quickly walked over to him and held a glass of water to his lips, Val drank like he had been stranded in the desert and this was the last bit of water left for him. Water dripped down his chin and fell on his chest. "Damn, Val, I knew you were thirsty but not this much." Everett grumbled as he pulled the cup away and wiped his chin and chest, careful of the bruising around his neck.

But Gregory sat there panting for a few extra minutes, his breathing labored. "Nei-" he paused, that was too many syllables. "Peter." He managed to choke out.

"Peter?" He asked with an eyebrow raised. "Oh, Niedermayer, he's around here somewhere." He said simply. Peter took that moment to walk into the room with a Fabled Beauty Rose & Calla Lily Bouquet.

"Hey can I uh have a moment with him?" He asked Backstrom, his demeanor abnormally casual.

Backstrom raised an eyebrow but nodded, he set the paper cup on the table by Valentine and walked out of the room. This left the two to sit in silence for a bit. After a good five minutes they both opened their mouth to speak simultaneously; they also closed their mouths, struggling to find the right words.

"Peter...are you okay?" Valentine finally asked him, playing absently with his bed sheet. The front of his dark hair flopped in his face and the rest stood up in odd angles, needless to say it looked fluffy. But Peter thought he wore it well.

"Me? Yeah...I'm fine. But Backstrom, he won't tell what happened to you." It was a statement that sounded very much like a question. Gregory squirmed under his gaze for a while before running a hand through his hair and finally meeting his gaze.

His hazel eyes looked glazed over, his neck contained hand marks in the form of bruises, his bottom lip was busted, he had a bruise on the right side of his face that cover his upper cheek, he had bite marks on his lower neck and collarbone from what Peter could see, and his wrist were a violet color. He found it hard not to gasp at the sight of him. "It looks worse than it is." He said with a weak laugh. "How long was I out?" He asked, wanting to change the subject.

Peter noted this but allowed it given the circumstances. He moved into the room more, sitting in the chair beside Valentine's hospital bed. He looked down at his phone for the time and then back up at Valentine. "It's been two days and three hours since they brought you here." He said quietly, studying his friends features.

"Oh, well that's not too bad then.Thank you for the flowers by the way. You mind helping me get dressed? I'm ready to go." Valentine said beginning to try and stand up. He buckled back under his own weight and let out a dramatic sigh. "Help?" He asked again, groaning.

Peter was caught between helping him and thinking it was a terrible idea. He finally grabbed a hold of Valentine and began to help him gain his balance. "You really shouldn't leave just yet...and you're er welcome." He said, unsure of himself.

"I've had worse. I hate hospitals." Valentine thought back to his boogeyman, maybe he'd have to add another to the list.

"Alright, alright." Peter resigned with a sigh, reaching over to the chair beside the bed that had a pair of fresh clothes some-what folded for Valentine to put on. Niedermayer grabbed the pants first, setting them down by the bed before turning back to help Valentine get the hospital gown off. The man was, obviously, naked underneath but didn't seem to be too ashamed of his body at first. This all changed when Peter gasped at the sight of him, making him flush from feeling self conscious. Valentine blinked quickly before fixing his gaze on the white tile beneath them.

"It's bad then, isn't it?" Valentine asked, quietly but showed no sign of weakness. Gregory Valentine was anything but weak. Sure Niedermayer had seen him scared, unsure of himself, even a little bit broken but never weak.

"No it's not, I just, well I mean but...the tattoo." Peter finished, stumbling over his words. Beneath the purple, blue, and yellow bruises on his chest and abdomen there was a tattoo; a black bird being held down by a chain struggling to fly away with wings spread wide, feathers flying lightly around it. The bandages over his wounds wrapping just under the chain."It's beautiful." As Peter looked harder he saw small dark circular scars underneath some of the tattoo, they were burns, likely old cigarette burns. Peter knew that Valentine had been kidnapped before based on the boogeyman case they had months back but they were never given details about it- not that they should have invaded Valentine's privacy at all.

"Yeah, I got it when I was younger." Valentine answered, holding onto Peter's shoulder to balance himself as he stepped into a pant leg. Peter pulled it up and helped him get the other leg in the pant hole, slowly pulling them up. Valentine tried to zip the dark jeans but his hands trembled terribly.

"Here let me." Peter said patiently, reaching down slowly as to not startle Val before fastening the jeans. He turned away from Valentine, blushing and feeling guilty for doing so considering Valentine  _needed_  his help. "So why the bird?"

Valentine was quiet for a while, debating his answer. "Because, I've only ever wanted to be free." He finally said, when Peter turned towards him with a loose light grey sweater for Valentine to wear. It wasn't Val's favourite shirt but it was better to have a loose fitting shirt that helped covered his injuries rather than one that would only aggravate them more. He let Peter slip it over his head and gently pulled his arms through the holes of the sweater. "Thanks." He said quietly.

Peter just stared at Gregory, trying to figure him out. He'd picked up on a lot of things that have happened to Valentine, particularly the bad things, this would explain his need to be free. To sleep with whoever he wanted, to drink whatever he wanted, do drugs when/if he wanted to, and steal what he wanted when he wanted to. It gave him this false sense of control. When Gregory wasn't in control he was scared, panicked beyond belief. But with it and the security that came along Val was vibrant, unstoppable even.

Their moment was interrupted by the nurse entering the room. "Sir, you really shouldn't be up just ye-"

"I'm checking out now. My brother will happily pick up my medication. This is my security detail." Valentine explained. "I'm leaving." He repeated, grabbing the vase of beautiful flowers in one hand and taking Peter's hand in the other before walking out of the room with him to the front desk.

* * *

Valentine hadn't been able to sleep since he left the hospital. Looking over at the clock on his darkwood bedside table he saw it was 4:35 a.m.. He groaned quietly in the darkness. He wanted to sleep, he really did, but when he closed his eyes the first boogeyman appeared. The man that had haunted him since he was a teenager and would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life. He yearned for someone to understand his suffering, to accept him despite how bent and broken he was as a human. But he could not disclose these feelings- they would only ruin him. He would trust someone too much, love them too much, only to lose them. He wouldn't do that to himself, not ever again.

Before his brain recognised what he was doing he grabbed his phone from the night stand, scrolling through his contacts, finding the person he was seeking comfort from, and pressed call, he turned the phone on speaker and rested it on his chest. It rang four times before the call went through.

"H-hello?" A voice scratchy from what Valentine presumed was sleep said.

"Hey..." Valentine replied quietly. "It's late, isn't it?"

Val heard the shuffling of blankets from the other line. "Yes, I suppose it is." Peter responded softly. "Why did you call?" He didn't sound agitated, just curiously patient.

"I can't sleep."

"I know what you mean." Peter said sympathetically.

"What calms you down, then?" Valentine asked, genuinely wanting to know.

"Meditation, thinking, not thinking, reading, more meditation. What calms you down?"

There was a pause on Val's end for a few seconds. "I usually drink until I can't think, or steal something, or have sex with someone and then steal their wallet." Another pause. "Sometimes Backstrom and I will sit together in the "livingroom" and he listens to the music I play. We don't say anything, we don't have to. He knows everything about me so it's just...it's okay for me to...to let my guard down."

"I've never thought of Backstrom like that. Does that mean he's nice to you?" Niedermayer asked sleepily.

"He's nice to all of you just in his own special Backstom-ish way. He cares about you and the rest of the team, I promise."

Peter sighed in resignation, Valentine was probably right there was no way Backstrom hated everyone the way he said he did. "Do you feel better?"

"I don't know." Valentine closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, I still can't sleep."

"When you and I were seventeen and life and love were new." Peter sang quietly, his voice was rough and thick with sleep so he cleared his throat. "The world was all a field of green and skies were smiling blue." Valentine pulled the blankets up and over himself, listening to the sweet words Peter sang to him. His eyes were still closed and he felt more relaxed than before. "That golden spring when I was king and you my wonderful queen. Do you recall when love was all, and we were seventeen?"

When Peter finished singing Val snuggled into his bed. "That was beautiful." He responded, because it really really was.

"You should try to sleep, Val." Peter sounded rather tired himself so Val decided to let him go to bed, after all Peter needed to heal too.

"G'night, darling." Valentine murmured into his pillow.

"Good night, Val. I'll call you, okay?" Peter replied but didn't hang up. "Valentine?"

"Yeah?" He asked quietly.

"If you need me, at any hour, call me. I'll always be here."

"I'll remember that." Gregory promised. "And Peter, I'll always be here too. Whenever." This was hard for Valentine to say because he couldn't let anyone in, nor could he actually promise to be there for someone. He was so flippant and flaky- choosing to run from his problems and the cruel world. Hiding behind vast amounts of sex and thievery.

Peter knew this and it warmed his heart to hear, he felt like he could sleep peacefully for at least the rest of the night. "Thank you." He breathed quietly. "Thank you."

"Goodnight." Valentine said, using that one word to convey his concern, and how much he cared for Peter, despite not being able to admit it out loud or even to himself just yet. He gazed at the flowers on his nightstand beside his alarm clock for a few minutes, smiling just slightly to himself. Peter had good taste after all, and to think he picked them out just for him.

"Goodnight." Peter echoes, confirming his feelings as well. He'd always been in touch with his emotions after all- well for his adult life. After a few moments of silence Valentine sighed and hung up. The silence that filled his room suffocating him. With Peter off the phone he didn't feel as sleepy as before. He rolled over on his side and curled up under the covers. It took awhile but Valentine finally fell into a restless sleep, dreaming of what it was like to be young and scared to die alone.

At least with this second boogeyman Niedermayer had been there to keep him warm and yelled for the man to leave him alone. No one had been there the first time, no one cared that he was missing, no one wanted to protect him. But with Peter everything was better...or as good as it could be in that situation. For the first time in his life he didn't have to go through something bad alone. After knowing what that felt like he never wanted to be alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue this story?


	3. Happy Birthday, Dear Niedermayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine organises Peter's birthday party and ends up staying the night.

_**"From the bottom of your heart, the relegation zone, I saw this coming from the start. The shake, rattle and roll. The cracks in blackout blinds cast patterns on the ceiling but you're feeling fine. I thought it was dark outside. I thought it was dark outside. So we all go back to yours and you sit and talk to me on the floor. There's no need to show me round baby, I feel like I've been in here before. I've been wondering whether later when you tell everybody to go, will you pour me one for the road? I knew this would be on the cards. I knew you wouldn't fold. I saw this coming from the start, the shake, rattle, and roll."** _

Weeks went by and Valentine's lovely roses wilted with the days passed. Most of these nights they spent chatting on the phone about nothing and everything, keeping nightmares at bay. Peter spoke of his childhood before his parents died, how they loved him and made him the kind man he is today. The way Peter opened up to Valentine with blind trust made his heart squeeze a bit, he felt so undeserving of this faith being as boxed up as he was.

This is why Valentine had been trying to prove himself by planning Peter's surprise birthday party. He bought cake, alcohol, snacks, more alcohol, and even had a special present for Peter. He went to the station late in the evening while Niedermayer was away for coffee and told everyone to be at the sergeant's house by 9:30 p.m. and no later. He coaxed Backstrom into going by bribing him with alcohol- or at least that's what Everett told the team.

He "let himself in" to Peter's apartment and set up for the small party. He put the carvel ice cream cake and the alcohol in the fridge, then set the snacks on the counter in bowls. He checked his pocket for Peter's gift and sighed in relief when he felt it- the thing was important after all.

The team rolled in just in time, full of smiles and presents- well except Backstrom of course who immediately mumbled something about beer before making his way to Niedermayer's fridge. Valentine briefly wandered if this was a horrible idea before they all heard a car pull into the drive. Val cut the lights and ushered everyone into a hiding place. They heard keys jingling before the door opened and Niedermayer stepped inside, turning on the light and-

"Surprise!" Everyone yelled, making Peter's eyes go wide.

Valentine sauntered forward with a wide, genuine smile. "Happy birthday." He said sweetly, pulling his friend into a small hug and patting his back. Peter squeezed back before letting him go before they looked too friendly with one another.

"Oh thanks, did you do all this?" He asked, gesturing to everyone else. When Val nodded he smiled. "Thank you, and thank you all for coming."

Nadia was next to hug Peter, kissing him on the cheek as she did so. "Happy birthday, Niedermayer." She said with a smile, one he knew very well. One that made Valentine feel jealousy bubble within himself.

Gravely walked behind Paquet and smiled herself. "Happy birthday." The words rolling off her tongue in a friendly but graceful manner.

Almond and Moto patted him on the back, and were about to speak before Backstrom came back into the living room and interrupted them. "Niedermayer, why is it that you just so happen to have my favourite beer?"

Valentine put an arm around Everett's shoulders and smirked devilishly up at him. "Because this is a party, and at parties we get drunk."

"Well since it's a party." Backstrom snorted and handed him a beer bottle, Val opened it and clinked it against his brother's taking a sip.

He pulled the bottle from his lips and smiled at Peter, the hazel of his eyes highlighted because of his eyeliner. "Cake time." He said grabbing Peter's wrist and leading him to the kitchen. "Close your eyes," Val said with a giggle, and Peter closed his eyes. He dropped his wrist and went to the fridge, pulling out the cake and setting it on a kitchen counter. He got the candles out and placed them haphazardly on the cake, he'd never actually gotten one before but he knew it was tradition. He lit the candles and then a cigarette, and then Backstrom's cigarette (it was a party he was allowing Backstrom to cheat). He grabbed the cake and began walking to Peter in the dining room area. "Okay, open your eyes."

Peter opened his eyes and his gaze immediately softened when he saw how beautiful Valentine looked, concentrating on the cake with a cigarette between his teeth.

"Happy birthday to you." Val began. "Happy birthday to you," everyone was gathered around Peter by now. "Happy birthday dear, Niedermayer, happy birthday to you." Val set the cake on the table in front of Peter as he blew out the candles, everyone clapped- except Backstrom who drank more beer.

Valentine made his way into the kitchen, searching draws until he found a knife. He grabbed party plates and forks, setting them on the table beside the cake he began to cut into it. "The birthday boy gets the first piece." He explained, holding a plate out to Peter, who graciously accepted it.

* * *

The party lasted till about two in the morning, with everyone (except Peter) drinking beer or various forms of hard liquor- this included shots. Presents were opened: Nicole had gifted him a tie, Nadia had given him a fine bottle of wine, Frank and Almond gave him a poetry book, and Backstrom gifted him the next day off.

Shortly after some drinking games Frank took Backstrom home first after he started falling asleep from one too many drinks. Nicole and Almond were next to part- separately of course. Paquet and Peter whispered to each other by the door, leaving him with a kiss on the cheek just as she greeted him.

This left a very wasted Valentine in the care of Peter. "Hey, you, c'mere." Valentine slurred from his place on the couch. Peter stared at him from the door but when Val gestured with his finger for him to move closer he did, sitting a safe distance beside him on the couch.

"Yes, Valentine?" He asked patiently.

Valentine grinned and moved closer, his face notably close to Peter's. "I got'chu somethin'." He cooed, giggling slightly.

At least Valentine still seemed amused. "Hmm? What is it?"

"Close your eyes." Val said, still playing coy. And once Peter's eyes were closed Valentine pulled out his gift, placing it into his hands. "Okay, now open them."

There was an antique brass locket with a map of the world displayed on top; Peter understood it was a symbol for world peace right away and he appreciated the gesture very much. Along the chain close the locket was a bird, similar to that of the one on Val's chest. He opened the locket and his heart skipped a beat. Inside the locket in script it read:

**_We were together—all else has long been forgotten by me._ **

It was from a Walt Whitman poem called Once I Pass'd Through a Populous City, a love poem that happened to be one of his favourites. The lines he picked were of spending days and nights together, clinging to one another because that's all you have left to keep. Peter thought back to his time in captivity, clinging to Valentine to keep him warm and to protect him. Holding him because that's all he had left. Valentine had become very important to him, through that experience alone he depended upon Val's presence. He had developed feelings for the man- romantic feelings he feared would never be returned.

"You're not sayin' anythin'." Val said shyly, interrupting his thoughts.

"I...it's lovely- wonderful even." He went in to hug Valentine but the man climbed on his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck loosely, nuzzling him gently. "Thank you." He said into Valentine's hair, kissing his ruffled up hair. Valentine lazily kissed and nipped at Peter's neck, and for a few seconds Peter let him. "Val, stop."

Valentine continued for a few moments but eventually stopped and pulled his head back and looked up at him. "Hmm?" He asked innocently.

"Val we can't- you're drunk."

"But I wanna." He whined, biting at his bottom lip.

Peter watched him silently for awhile, he couldn't take advantage of him like that. Val slept around a lot, he knew that, but that didn't mean anything when their captor sexually abused him. Peter would never hurt Val, and so he couldn't encourage this. "No. Not like this. Let's just...let's get you to bed, okay?"

Val kept his arms around Peter, refusing to get up from his lap. Peter sighed heavily and wrapped his arms around Val's waist, slowly he stood up and carried Valentine into his bedroom. He set Val on the bed, and Val kicked his shoes on the floor below. Valentine pulled at his shirt and after a small struggle he managed to get it off and throw it on the floor. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down, kicking them on the floor. Peter stared at him from the foot of the bed, confused. "It's not like you 'avn't seen me naked before."

"Valentine." Peter said somberly.

"No s'okay. C'mere." He repeated, letting Peter know that it is okay to join him on the bed. Peter sighed and turned towards his closet. He took his clothes off before changing into a pair of pajama bottoms and a white cotton t-shirt. He turned back toward Valentine and slowly got on the bed, leaving distance between them.

Gregory snuggled up against him as soon as Peter's head hit the pillow. Val rested his head on his chest, his arm across his stomach, and his leg over Peter's. Nidermayer pulled the covers over them, and pulled Val closer in his hold. His fingers graced across Val's back and he frowned when he felt the scars on his lower back- forming the word 'fag'. He'd probably have it for the rest of his life.

"I haven't slept with anyone since it happened." Valentine said quietly, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Why not?" He asked to keep him talking, he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"It's not that I didn't try...when I went to...I couldn't." He took a deep breath and cuddled Peter harder. "I don't know why...after everything the first time  _it_ happened I was...I just started everything up again. I threw myself back into sex and it hurt and I hated it but I did it and I never stopped throwing myself around. But I can't do it, not this time."

"That's okay, Val, You shouldn't rush yourself into things like that, it's not healthy. You were attacked and sexually assaulted, it doesn't get worse than that."

"He touched you too, y'know. When you were unconscious." Peter was surprised by how sober Valentine sounded. "And anyway no one cares what happens to a prostitute. Except Backstrom. I know you guys think he's a bad guy or that he hates everyone, but he doesn't. He loves me and he cares about you all of you...he just doesn't show it the way normal people should." Valentine looked up at Niedermayer with wide hazel doe eyes. "He took me in when no one else would. I owe him everything, y'know, everything."

Peter threaded his fingers through Val's dark locks. "I care about you." He murmured. "I'm sorry about your boogeyman I know we never talked about it while we were on the case or even after but...I just want you to know that you shouldn't have had to go through that, let alone twice. I'd give everything I have to make it all go away, to make you not hurt."

Valentine knew what he was saying without him having to actually say it,  _I love you. I love you and I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I want you to be my world. I want to be your world. Just let me in._ "It's okay. Things happen and sometimes- most of the time we can't control them."

Peter kissed the top of his head again, soothing him. "Go to bed, Val. You're still drunk."

"Mmm." He hummed in agreement, fisting Peter's shirt where his arm was draped across his middle tightly. Slowly his grip loosened and Peter could tell the exact moment he fell asleep.

* * *

Valentine woke up with a pounding headache, he slowly opened his eyes and sat up groaning loudly as he did so. He saw his clothes on the floor and his brow furrowed. He leisurely stood up, steadying himself as he walked into the hallway. "Did we sleep togeth-" He stopped mid-sentence when he saw Peter making pancakes and drinking coffee.

Peter turned toward him, and stared. Valentine's hair was an absolute fluffy bed-head mess, and he stood clad in his boxers. He had his two chest tattoos and the bird tattoo. Pink jagged scars marred his pale flesh but that didn't make him any less beautiful in Peter's eyes. "

"Did we fuck or not?" Valentine asked again, voice strained and hoarse as he made his way over to the Keurig coffee machine.

"No." Peter said coming to from his daze. He went to the cabinet and got a spare mug, handing it to Valentine. "No we didn't." He assured.

Valentine filled the mug with coffee and drank it back. "You got any tylenol?" He asked, referring to his headache. As he went to take a sip he noticed the mug read 'A Giant Cup of who the Fuck Cares'. Valentine laughed softly and took some big gulps.

Peter picked up the bottle of tylenol that was already on the counter top and handed it to him. Val took the bottle poured four pills onto his hand and popped them, chasing them with coffee. "You shouldn't have taken that much." Niedermayer scolded.

Valentine laughed dryly and nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right." He agreed, putting the cap on and setting the bottle down.

Peter put the pancakes on separate plates, one had two regular pancakes the other had two chocolate chip pancakes. "Sit. Eat." Peter instructed setting the plates on the table where the syrup was.

Val had never been a morning after kind of guy but he listened and sat down beside Peter, because he was emotionally invested in him which he's never done before. "I usually don't do this." Valentine said, dripping syrup on the pancakes and taking a bite. He moaned softly. "These are really good, damn Niedermayer." He praised, making Peter flush.

"Thank you." He said with a kind smile. "It's okay if you don't. Considering all of the trauma you have experienced it doesn't surprise me that you'd manifest the feelings you bottled up into meaningless sex. It's quite brilliant really. You show your attacker- or boogeyman that they didn't damage you when they hurt you. That you are not traumatized and thus can be sexually active with whomever you want- especially other men."

"Exclusively other men." Valentine corrected before sighing. "You don't have to do that...talk about me like I'm some victim you're profiling. I'm not someone you need to profile. I'm not even a victim."

Peter nodded solemnly. "It's a force of habit...I'm sorry. And I know that, Val. I know you're not a victim. You're so much more than that. You're not broken and I didn't mean to insinuate that I thought so." He said slowly and carefully, taking a bite of pancake into his mouth.

"I know you don't..." He murmured, going silent and finishing his pancakes. He took a sip of his coffee, watching Peter eat. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad or whatever, I'm not good with people. And I like you, Peter. I really do and I'm not good at liking people...I've never felt for someone before ever. No one's ever liked me before. No one's ever looked at me the way you do, not even  _him._ I don't know what to do about this but I do know that I don't wanna lose this so let's just...take it slow." Valentine stumbled over his words, being careful not to say love or to say anything about a relationship.

And Peter just nodded patiently, willing to do whatever it takes to stay by Valentine's side. "Whatever you want." He agreed, a kind smile gracing his features.

Valentine nodded, finishing his coffee and standing up. "I should go...check on Backstrom. Y'know make sure he hasn't choked on his own vomit and died or something." Gregory's tone was light but they both knew it was a possibility.

"Yeah, of course. You can borrow something of mine if you'd like." He said gathering the plates and walking over to the sink to wash them.

Valentine walked down the hall with a bounce in his step, his headache was dull and he felt better about his and Peter's relationship. He went to Peter's bedroom, pulling his own jeans on from the floor and going through Peter's closet for a shirt and jacket. He found a hoodie in the back of the closet and decided to forgo the shirt and just pull the navy blue hoodie that read Portland EMT on, fluffing his hair up more in the process. He searched the room for his shoes, finding them at either ends of the foot of the bed. He pulled one on after the other, lacing both combat boots up.

He left the room, forgetting his shirt and American flag scarf on the carpet behind him.

"I'll see you later." Peter said from the kitchen, washing the mug Valentine had used.

"Yeah, later." He agreed, planning to show up at his house randomly some day of the week.

Peter looked back just as Valentine was about to turn away from him- he paused in his tracks. They stared at each other and Peter smiled fondly at the sweat shirt.

"I hope it's okay...it was in the back I figured it was-"

"No! No it er it looks better on you than it ever did on me, keep it." He insisted, affirming his words with an eager nod.

Valentine offered him a shy but genuine smile. "I'll see you soon." He promised, starting to turn his body. Peter rushed forward and grabbed Val's hand gently tugging him back. Gregory looked up at him with questioning eyes.

"You didn't let me kiss you goodbye." He explained, leaning down to gently kiss Valentine's forehead. After a few moments of his lips gently pressed to his forehead, he slowly pulled back. Watching Valentine's eyes fluttered open seconds after the tiny display of affection was over. "Soon." He agreed smiling at Val, whose wrist was now a bit soapy.

Valentine stood on his tip toes and gave Peter a very quick peck on the lips, before wiping soap on Peter's nose and cheek from the soap on his wrist. "Catcha later!" He called laughing his way to the door.

Leaving Peter to stand there startled, laughing with relief that his kiss was not rejected but returned. He wiped the soap up, grinning to himself like a love-sick fool. Valentine didn't turn him down, gently or otherwise. He left the possibility of a relationship for the future on the table. Peter Niedermayer was nothing but ecstatic afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Whitman poem:
> 
> Once I pass’d through a populous city, imprinting my brain, for future use, with its shows, architecture, customs, and traditions;  
> Yet now, of all that city, I remember only a woman I casually met there, who detain’d me for love of me;  
> Day by day and night by night we were together,—All else has long been forgotten by me;  
> I remember, I say, only that woman who passionately clung to me;  
> Again we wander—we love—we separate again;  
> Again she holds me by the hand—I must not go!  
> I see her close beside me, with silent lips, sad and tremulous.


End file.
